Dear JA,
I wish I could truly express how I feel about you. You have no earthly idea how much trouble I have gone to talk to you or for you just to notice me this year. It’s rather ridiculous now that i think about it.
In the process, you’ve earned two nicknames: Sparkling Water and JAM. Water because in 7th grade the code name for my crush then was “water”. We tacked on “sparkling because you are sparkling. Ha, not really but kinda in a strange way. You got JAM because Matthew Wheaton decided to tag my car during the last week for seniors with “I heart J.A.” I added on the “M” so my mom wouldn’t know. Smart, right? lol.
Those times we went to Penney’s, not because we wanted to go shopping. Okay, well maybe a few times I went in to actually get something, but mostly it was because of you. LAME I know. Belch.
And the time you dropped out of orchestra, and I tried to bring you back in by telling you to show up to Chamber Orchestra. I was so afraid of getting yelled at by G. Luckily she still doesn’t know. But then you decided to have a “prior engagement” the night of the concert. LAME. It’s okay though, cause I’ve gotten past that.
But honestly, how do you have to be so unique from all the other guys out there? An amazing musician, pretty good golfer, sweet, outgoing, and freakin’ hilarious. Probably not the brightest crayon in the box, but I’ve gotten past that.
It’s been really hard on me the past few weeks. You see, now that you’re no longer in high school anymore, I don’t get to see you that much. Yeah we text, but if you knew how freakin’ nervous I am… I wouldn’t consider it a great conversation. And they’re hardly that great of texts. Except for when you use “sweetheart” although I’m sure you don’t mean it that way.
On top of all this, I’ve gotten a new friend, who is also crazy about you too. To be completely honest, I feel I’m more deserving… Don’t tell her I said that. I’m sure she feels the same way but flipped. Lame is what I’d like to call this situation. “Lame!” as you would say.
I feel as though I’ve lost the race, the race that started right before winter break of 2008. She’s gotten to you faster than I have. I feel I need to wave the white flag. Which is why I’m DYING to tell you that I really do LOVE, LIKE YOU. BLAH.. if only it were this easy to tell you. I was thinkin’ that maybe if I told you, it could change your opinion. But I’m not sure.. I can only hope.

With love,

Megan