06.19.09
Blow to the heart.
well.
you said that it won’t come between us.
i’ve known this to be false,
the ENTIRE time.
because here i am,
that sinking feeling in my stomach,
that pressure in the heart.
i’ve said from the get-go
“only bad things can come of this”
and look at me, i’m jealous.
and nothing too special has even happend just yet.
i really wish we didn’t become friends like this.
if it ends how we would like it to end;
one of us, together with him,
i’ll bet you whatever you want,
that it won’t be the same between us.
06.04.09
No one likes a snobby, stuck-up, rich kid.
Well. Yesterday I found out that you’re not at all like what I thought you were. I felt like I was the person who knew you the best, and yet I’m so wrong. You are such a liar it makes me sick to my stomach. If it were a small white lie, I would probably be okay with it to some extent, but this?! This beyond ridiculous. You truly are a prick and a douche bag. I have no idea how else to put it. And to hide it from me, then to tell me not to find guys that act like that. WTF is your problem? I feel like I don’t know you anymore. Yeah, I’m still “part” of your family, and yeah I’ll still talk to you, but I don’t think it’ll be the same anymore. Get your priorities straightened out kid, or you’re going to be in a world of hell. No one likes a snobby, stuck-up, rich kid. And they way you keep going, you’re going to be that snobby, stuck-up, rich kid.
06.03.09
Just Peachy.
Monday I decided to tell him. I went up to his work and we chatted. That was after about an hour trying to get the courage to go over to him. Yeah, I’m a chicken. He was wearing the “cotton candy combo” as he has referred to it before. He was cutting out Chinese throwing stars out of cardboard. (They weren’t busy, thank goodness.) He just cracks me up with how random he is, it makes me laugh. We small talked for a couple of minutes. Then I started with… “I need to tell you something….. I sort of have… a crush on you.” I THINK his reply was something to the extent of, “You know I already knew, right?” Of course I can’t remember because I was to busy freaking out because I just told the guy I liked him. THANK GOD nothing bad happened. In fact, when I said I should probably go, he told me to not go because he was bored. CAH-UTE!! 
Anyway, we ended up talking for about 40ish minutes about things and stuff. That night I seriously COULD NOT go to sleep because I was replaying the entire conversation in my head and I seriously could not stop smiling.
Yesterday, I decided to find out how he “knew.” So I texted. (By the way, you’d think it’d be easier to text him now, BUT NO! If anything, it might be harder!! LAME!) Low and behold, Matthew Wheaton didn’t lie when he said he told him. THAT LITTLE TURD. :P Ugh, oh well, I’m happy with how things have turned out, not saying I’m going to get the guy. But, my cousin IS having a wedding in a couple of months, maybe I’ll need a date. Lol. We’ll see how it works out.
I decided to tell him so maybe I could get some closure to stop liking this kid. But after Monday night, I fear that I have not even begun to start turning around. I think I’ve only walked deeper on the path that I wanted to get out of. Yikes.
Why, JA, must I be attracted to you?!! (Ha, he even asked me this question on Monday.)
Lame.
05.30.08
A Year in Review
Yesterday was the last day. But when I REALLY think about it, I truly cannot believe that I have finished yet another year of school. Everything seems to be flying by. I’m growing up so fast; cheesy but true. But anyway, here’s somethings I remember from the 2007-08 school year.
I REMEMBER:
freshman orientation. first tennis match. tennis districts. orchestra/band concerts. the faculty christmas play. first mid-terms. bottom locker. the teachers. the lunch table. skipping AR points for the first trister. my 107% in english. freshman committee thing. freshman career day. freshman awards. essays for english. yearbook fiasco. senior crushes (there were a few. soccer players. ). being sorta in the musical. FLF. male cheerleaders. pep assemblies. getting a 2 at contest. watching mythbusters in science. kendyl and her little contests at wendy’s. the tennis bus. getting up extra early to be on time for my ride. finishing a book in less than 2 weeks. a day no pigs would die. romeo and juliet. the quadratic formula song!! kirchoff’s outbursts. making food in life skills. making my mini room in life skills 2. sewing pillows. sick STDs slide show. the dumb bellringers in health. watching tv shows on my ipod in health. the stupidness of orchestra. the seniors in orch. sitting next to you-know-who (ick..). the freshman circle. cracking up in english because of carr. having a heavy backpack going home. walking home. some sick convos at lunch. having a sinking feeling in my stomach when i didnt finish my homework. senior’s graduation. getting straight A’s all year. snow days. and the last day. BEING A BEAR!
I WISH:
I wish and hope that I would stop caring so much about what others think. I hope that I will be more involved next year. I wish I could just say what i feel. I wish I would just stop procrastinating.
ADVICE TO THE NEW:
Enjoy your first year; it goes by fast. Not even kidding. Don’t use a tray, you’ll look weird. Get involved; you’ll make friends and you’ll do things you’ve probably never done. Go to the dances and games; you’ll feel bad later if you don’t. Don’t slack on your work; you’ll REGRET it. Not even kidding. And stock up on extra credit; f you take a slip, it won’t be as bad. What do you have to lose!? Watch who you talk to, remember you’re considered as a stupid freshman now.
05.26.08
DC Tug Of War: KC or Tulsa?
So according to myfoxkc.com, there’s a tug of war. Tulsa claims him, but I KNOW that KC is pretty much his home. I mean he did grow up here. He went to elementaryschool, high school, even worked around the area. When it was homecoming week, he CAME BACK to KC. On Jay Leno, he said that he went home to KANSAS CITY! In my own opinion, David Cook belongs to Kansas City. Maybe he wasn’t born here, but he was certainly RAISED. And he was only in Tulsa for a tiny bit of his life. Therefore, I say, KC wins this one.
